
You've
seen the
photo in The Hall of Douchebags. Red-faced and rocking, this
corpulent crooner has become an enigmatic legend on the RRC Forums.
Most are unable to attribute a gender to the person pictured much
less an identity or location. Man or woman, we are fascinated
with the person known only as "Cheesefries" (named after
the caption.) Who is Cheesefries?
Several
years ago, we were successful in our quest to locate "The
Mohawk Guy". Could lightning strike again? We're hoping
it will.
Here's
what we know, which, admittedly, isn't much:
The
photo was submitted by an RRC reader in Texas. Judging from the
stark lighting and spartan decor, Cheesefries appears to be singing
in a gymnasium or "all-purpose room", perhaps at a talent
show? In the background of the photo, there is a flag of some
sort. Is it a drill team flag? A school crest or team mascot banner?
Also,
judging from Cheesefries' use of a cymbal stand as a makeshift
microphone stand, the drummer's F-Grade kit and the compact PA,
they are clearly not professionals.
Sadly,
RRC HQ is not equipped with CSI-like computers, else we would
simply zoom in on Cheesefries' eye, tighten, sharpen, zoom some
more, sharpen and zoom some more, then extrapolate the data until
we had a clear picture of the gymnasium reflected in Cheesefries'
retina, complete with scoreboard, time of day and name of the
school. (This image would be backwards, of course, but we'd have
the number-crunching power of the bleeding-edge CSI supercomputer
and a special high-tech image-flipping algorithm software which
could flip the backwards image so it was readable to the naked
eye.) No, all we have here is a couple of Casio ComputeMaster
500s and a chalkboard.
So,
it's up to you, fair reader, to help us find Cheesefries. Your
identity will be kept confidential unless you tell us otherwise.
Go
to our contact page and give us any clue you may have so that
we may put a name and gender to that red, round face. We're counting
on you!
Click
here to contact us with clues!