The Tape Was Good Enough For Rodney

Chicago police charged R&B yodeler R. Kelly Wednesday with producing child pornography based on a videotape he allegedly made with a female minor.

Florida police arrested Kelly at his residence later in the day.

“Even though I don't believe any of these charges are warranted, I'm grateful that I will have a chance to establish the truth about me in a court of law.” Kelly said, through a publicist.

"I have complete faith in our system of justice, and I am confident that when all the facts come out, people will see that I'm no criminal. I have received countless letters of support from many entertainers, including Jerry Lee Lewis, Gary Glitter, Don Henley and the drummer guy from The Bay City Rollers."

Kelly’s latest release “Do They Be Grass On The Infield?” has been indefinitely shelved by his record company.

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Walk Thizzz zzzzzzz

Aerosmith has announced a string of tour dates featuring themselves, Kid Rock and rap pioneers RUN-DMC. In an interview with a Los Angeles radio station, ‘Smith singer Steven Tyler hinted that “there just may be a few surprises in store!” The DJ replied “What? Like you and Joe doing “Walk This Way” with RUN-DMC again?”

“Oh…um…yeah…pretty much. ” muttered Tyler.

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Haven't You Learned Anything From Your Boss?

Everyone’s favorite Rock & Roll Dad, Ozzy Osbourne has cancelled the remaining European Ozzfest dates due to the temporary departure of guitarist Zakk Wylde to treat an “undisclosed illness”, the rocker’s publicist said in a statement today. Sources close to the Osbourne camp say Wylde is suffering from “Cyrhozzizz of the Lyvrr due to Akkute Alkoholyzzm.”

The guitarist has been pulling double duty on the tour, both opening the show with his own band Black Label Society and closing the show with Osbourne.

When asked about Wylde’s undisclosed illness and if he would be well enough for the American leg of the tour, scheduled to kick off in Virginia on July 6th, Ozzfest organizer and Osbourne manager Sharon Osbourne said “He fucking well better be ready. I don’t fucking care if his liver is hanging out of his ass and we have to hire a roadie to stand there and hold it, he’s going to fucking well play these shows. I’ve got a fucking mortgage.”

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